I'm going to have to call the doctor for Tracy.She's taking a new medicine and the warnings include:
" If you display unusual behavior, consult your physician."
She's been cleaning house and cooking supper. Think I'll wait awhile.
Friday, March 4, 2016
Exercise Anyone?
I have really put on the weight in the last couple of years – stress, age and a job that requires a lot of computer work and drive time have all colluded to inflate my spare tire. So –I’m thinking about dieting ---after the holidays. It’s a lot easier to think about it than actually do it.
Even though I’m not totally convinced of the need to be able to bounce a quarter off your stomach at the age of fifty five, I have made several attempts at exercise over the past few years. (You know its time to do something when you get out of breath while brushing your teeth.)
My most humiliating attempt involved a health club. I joined as a New Year’s resolution in January and paid $399 over the year. By the next Christmas, I had gained five pounds and I went to the management in hopes of getting my money back. I should have read the fine print in the contract because apparently their money back guarantee requires that you must actually go to the club and exercise. They should have told me this before I signed up.
Later I decided that I could exercise on my own and I took up power walking. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen people doing this activity but it involves moving your arms & legs in a most unnatural manner as you waddle down the street as if you have two pit bulls fighting it out in the seat of your pants. I had to give that up after only a week as I had started to attract spectators.
Over the years, Tracy & I have bought every kind of exercise machine ever invented by opportunistic sadists; from rowing machines, weight benches and treadmills to a strange little device called the Ab-Igator consisting of pulleys and ropes that you attach to a doorknob. The worst thing we ever bought was a giant rubber band that you placed under your feet and used for stretching exercises. It cost $29.99 plus $6.95 shipping and handling.
Many of these things ended up as a great place to hang our clothes and the only healthful exercise we got from most of them was the extra steps required to walk around them in the bedroom or from lugging them to the front lawn for the yearly yard sale. We did however use the rubber band. After we broke the knobs off the bedroom door with the Ab-Igator, I looped the band through the hole and we used it to open & close the door for a period of time.
I do think about exercising a lot; mostly after I’m already in the bed at night and there’s no risk of me actually getting up and doing any jumping jacks. When I do exercise, it’s limited to walking and I have to do it early in the morning before my brain wakes up and figures out what’s going on with the rest of my body.
But I’ve promised myself that after the holidays, I’m starting a stringent exercise program and whip myself back into shape; unless it’s raining or too cold or too windy or if there’s any pollen in the air or if there’s something good on TV. Then I’ll start after Valentine’s Day because when I die, I want to die healthy. But right now I’m going to have a glass of sweet tea and get ready for another Christmas Party tonight.
Even though I’m not totally convinced of the need to be able to bounce a quarter off your stomach at the age of fifty five, I have made several attempts at exercise over the past few years. (You know its time to do something when you get out of breath while brushing your teeth.)
My most humiliating attempt involved a health club. I joined as a New Year’s resolution in January and paid $399 over the year. By the next Christmas, I had gained five pounds and I went to the management in hopes of getting my money back. I should have read the fine print in the contract because apparently their money back guarantee requires that you must actually go to the club and exercise. They should have told me this before I signed up.
Later I decided that I could exercise on my own and I took up power walking. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen people doing this activity but it involves moving your arms & legs in a most unnatural manner as you waddle down the street as if you have two pit bulls fighting it out in the seat of your pants. I had to give that up after only a week as I had started to attract spectators.
Over the years, Tracy & I have bought every kind of exercise machine ever invented by opportunistic sadists; from rowing machines, weight benches and treadmills to a strange little device called the Ab-Igator consisting of pulleys and ropes that you attach to a doorknob. The worst thing we ever bought was a giant rubber band that you placed under your feet and used for stretching exercises. It cost $29.99 plus $6.95 shipping and handling.
Many of these things ended up as a great place to hang our clothes and the only healthful exercise we got from most of them was the extra steps required to walk around them in the bedroom or from lugging them to the front lawn for the yearly yard sale. We did however use the rubber band. After we broke the knobs off the bedroom door with the Ab-Igator, I looped the band through the hole and we used it to open & close the door for a period of time.
I do think about exercising a lot; mostly after I’m already in the bed at night and there’s no risk of me actually getting up and doing any jumping jacks. When I do exercise, it’s limited to walking and I have to do it early in the morning before my brain wakes up and figures out what’s going on with the rest of my body.
But I’ve promised myself that after the holidays, I’m starting a stringent exercise program and whip myself back into shape; unless it’s raining or too cold or too windy or if there’s any pollen in the air or if there’s something good on TV. Then I’ll start after Valentine’s Day because when I die, I want to die healthy. But right now I’m going to have a glass of sweet tea and get ready for another Christmas Party tonight.
Politically Correct- Green Beans?
What could be more innocuous than green beans? As a food, they are about as plain and simple and politically correct as anything I can imagine. I mean they even have the socially responsible word “green“ in their name. But then Facebook is a truly different world.
I saw what appeared to be a tasty recipe for green beans posted by an individual on my timeline a couple of days ago. I read it- it looked pretty good and then I saw a long list of comments. Thinking that I could find out if others liked it, I started reading a few. Most comments were pretty standard - “Like it” – “good but try it with this ingredient or that ingredient”, etc. But then it got weird.
Someone made a rather snide comment about overcooking the beans (like we do in the South) and as how that was socially irresponsible and cooked all the nutrients out of the dish. Many folks rushed to the defense of the recipe poster but somehow the conversation turned – drastically .
It somehow became a platform for social causes such as a need to provide more for the poor and food quality in soup kitchens. Someone enough posted their manifesto against human consumption of milk which was strange because the recipe didn’t call for any milk products. But when your cause is “milk is poison” and “we’re stealing milk from all those baby cows”, I guess you take your shot wherever you can.
All I can say is that some of us just ain’t right.
Brain Fluff
Be thankful. Even a manure pile is the result of some form of successful endeavor.
With this new Star Wars craze, I got to thinking... You know there's got to be some guy out there who is about to turn 40 named Chewbacca Jones.
Well apparently I didn't get Mark Zuckerberg's stock last night and I guess I'll have to start paying for my Facebook account next Spring ($9.99) cause I couldn't get my Facebook icon to turn any bluer than it was. I haven't heard from Bill Gates lately either.
I'm afraid Jesus may not love me anymore cause I failed to like someone's post. I also am confused about this Sharia law that Obama's gonna put us under. Do I have to have more wives or can I keep the one I've got?
And who is this Jade Helm gal and where did she disappear to?
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
The Recruit
Grown men losing their minds over the college choice of a 17 year old. We've had a parachute jump, a pro wrestler and Snoop Dog as kids craving attention grab their 15 minutes. A while back we even had a kid base his college decision on a coin toss.
Let's just be honest and give into our baser instincts. How about a reality show on ESPN called The Recruit. The kid is courted by a bevy of Division 1 coaches as he weeds them out by presenting highlight films on each episode. The winner drives off into the sunset with the Recruit in a Cadillac Escalade filled with cheerleaders and athletic shoes.
Let's just be honest and give into our baser instincts. How about a reality show on ESPN called The Recruit. The kid is courted by a bevy of Division 1 coaches as he weeds them out by presenting highlight films on each episode. The winner drives off into the sunset with the Recruit in a Cadillac Escalade filled with cheerleaders and athletic shoes.
Saturday, January 9, 2016
Jane - You Ignorant Slut
I once had an economics professor in college that made one statement that stuck with me long after the meaning of GNP and fungability slipped from me.
“Economics is a dismal science. ”
No matter our efforts, we cannot escape the realities of a finite world.
I believe religious debate without faith is also a dismal process. We attempt to approach it much like the old 60 minutes segment – Point-Counterpoint. Unfortunately many of us take the Saturday Night Live approach when our faith is lacking– “Jane, you ignorant slut.”
“Economics is a dismal science. ”
No matter our efforts, we cannot escape the realities of a finite world.
I believe religious debate without faith is also a dismal process. We attempt to approach it much like the old 60 minutes segment – Point-Counterpoint. Unfortunately many of us take the Saturday Night Live approach when our faith is lacking– “Jane, you ignorant slut.”
Secularism?
I never really gave the concept of secularism much thought. In my younger days, I always thought of it in terms of separation of church and state which I agree with in its basic form . But secularists have pushed far beyond that now and continue with surface only arguments intended to strip the world, or at least our little part of it, of the Christian religion.
Christianity seems to offend the secularists, agnostics and atheists at a much higher level than other world religions. That shouldn’t surprise anyone. Not only is it an easy target since you are less likely to be killed due to a Christian’s principles of faith, it also evokes the most hatred because it requires the most from you. It requires you to struggle against all those human failings that keep us in this difficult world we live in. It is an easy target because it has a long human history and a turning point. Any human history is filled with those failings – destruction, greed, jealousy, fear and murder; all things that are so easy for secularists to target as justification to remove Christianity from public consumption.
Secularists often point to wars and violence perpetrated over religion as justification for their efforts. I contend that wars are fought for all the aforementioned human failings and the name of religion is invoked only to make it palatable to the participants.
As best I can tell, secular humanism is based upon the concept that religion does more harm than good and that discarding the chains of faith is liberating and an intellectual pursuit. Lack of faith in a higher power is without question, liberating. It liberates us from the pangs of conscience and responsibility. According to secularism, men are undesigned, unintended and totally responsible for themselves and their existence.
As such, Christians have allowed secularists to define Christianity in the modern world - to twist its principles and to meet the display of human weaknesses in its history with cries of hypocrisy. Christians are being abused by a re-definition of their own faith.
In today’s world:
Thou shalt not kill – means thou shalt not defend yourself or your faith against those who seek to destroy it.
Judge not lest ye be judged – now means that a Christian must be tolerant of everything that the secular world deems acceptable regardless if it offends you or your beliefs or that you perceive that it is destructive to your society.
Turn the other cheek – now means – do not challenge my actions or my beliefs
Love one another – now means that you must accept me and celebrate me as I am regardless if my actions are destructive or in contradiction to your faith.
Yet hypocrisy runs rampant (another human failing) I recently listened to a secular humanist in a radio interview - a very pleasant fellow interviewed by a NPR host who didn’ t have the desire nor the intellectual where with all to offer any serious questions. The interview did yield something however. This fellow admitted that secularists had a strong desire for a moral code and a yearning for some small meaning of life. Where did that come from? His goal through his writing is to establish some rules or goals for secularism that included love of mankind and a responsibility to society. Kind of sounds like religion doesn’t it? Just without the responsibility.
Christianity seems to offend the secularists, agnostics and atheists at a much higher level than other world religions. That shouldn’t surprise anyone. Not only is it an easy target since you are less likely to be killed due to a Christian’s principles of faith, it also evokes the most hatred because it requires the most from you. It requires you to struggle against all those human failings that keep us in this difficult world we live in. It is an easy target because it has a long human history and a turning point. Any human history is filled with those failings – destruction, greed, jealousy, fear and murder; all things that are so easy for secularists to target as justification to remove Christianity from public consumption.
Secularists often point to wars and violence perpetrated over religion as justification for their efforts. I contend that wars are fought for all the aforementioned human failings and the name of religion is invoked only to make it palatable to the participants.
As best I can tell, secular humanism is based upon the concept that religion does more harm than good and that discarding the chains of faith is liberating and an intellectual pursuit. Lack of faith in a higher power is without question, liberating. It liberates us from the pangs of conscience and responsibility. According to secularism, men are undesigned, unintended and totally responsible for themselves and their existence.
As such, Christians have allowed secularists to define Christianity in the modern world - to twist its principles and to meet the display of human weaknesses in its history with cries of hypocrisy. Christians are being abused by a re-definition of their own faith.
In today’s world:
Thou shalt not kill – means thou shalt not defend yourself or your faith against those who seek to destroy it.
Judge not lest ye be judged – now means that a Christian must be tolerant of everything that the secular world deems acceptable regardless if it offends you or your beliefs or that you perceive that it is destructive to your society.
Turn the other cheek – now means – do not challenge my actions or my beliefs
Love one another – now means that you must accept me and celebrate me as I am regardless if my actions are destructive or in contradiction to your faith.
Yet hypocrisy runs rampant (another human failing) I recently listened to a secular humanist in a radio interview - a very pleasant fellow interviewed by a NPR host who didn’ t have the desire nor the intellectual where with all to offer any serious questions. The interview did yield something however. This fellow admitted that secularists had a strong desire for a moral code and a yearning for some small meaning of life. Where did that come from? His goal through his writing is to establish some rules or goals for secularism that included love of mankind and a responsibility to society. Kind of sounds like religion doesn’t it? Just without the responsibility.
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